Posted: 22 Jan 2009 01:00 AM CST"We need to remember that the full commitment of motherhood and of putting children first can be difficult. Through my own four-generation experience in our family, and through discussions with mothers of young children throughout the Church, I know something of a mother's emotions that accompany her commitment to be at home with young children. There are moments of great joy and incredible fulfillment, but there are also moments of a sense of inadequacy, monotony, and frustration. Mothers may feel they receive little or no appreciation for the choice they have made. Sometimes even husbands seem to have no idea of the demands upon their wives. "As a Church, we have enormous respect and gratitude to you mothers of young children. We want you to be happy and successful in your families and to have the validation and support you need and deserve."
M. Russell Ballard, "Daughters of God," Ensign, May 2008, 109I have been having many "moments of a sense of inadequacy" and they are usually much more than "moments." I work with the Young Women in our ward and I am always encouraging them to see themselves as the Lord sees them, and as I see them. And yet I feel like a hypocrite because I still can't do the same.
The good moments are so so good. I have so much to be grateful for. And yet I still feel lost in a fog. The real Sharla, the one I know is hiding out inside somewhere just can't seem to make it all the way out.
But all I can do is take it a day at a time and try to do my best. Is my best good enough for me ?
No. But I hope that it will be enough.
I know that it's okay to have my Savior carry me for a while.