Sunday, May 11, 2008

Confessions of an imperfect mother on Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day and yet here I am thinking about how imperfect a mother I really am. It's confession time. Why is it so easy to look at the other women and mothers around you and feel that they have it all together when you so sadly don't? I used to think that I had a lot of patience, and yet lately it seems like about ten minutes after I determine that I will not get irritated or raise my voice I'm doing it again. I have the sweetest most caring husband and yet it seems like most of the time instead of getting the best of me, he is getting the worst of me. The tired, cranky, ready to throw in the towel side of me. I know that I am where I need to be, and I am where I want to be. I decide every day that I will enjoy my children, enjoy my day, not stress about the mess or making perfect meals (or any meals for that matter since I don't think cold cereal counts). And yet each night when I go to bed I mostly feel like I've failed. My friend Em recently posted this on her blog and I'm going to steal it from her:

The Girl in a Whirl
by 'Dr. Sue' (a.k.a. Vickie Gunther)

Look at me, look at me, look at me now!
You could do what I do if only you knew how.

I study the scriptures one hour each day;
I bake, I upholster, I scrub, and I pray.

I always keep all the commandments completely;
I speak to my little ones gently and sweetly.

I help in their classrooms! I sew all they wear!
I drive them to practice! I cut all their hair!

I memorize names of the General Authorities; I
focus on things to be done by priorities.

I play the piano! I bless with my talents!
My toilets all sparkle! My checkbooks all balance!

Each week every child gets a one-on-one date;
I attend all my meetings (on time! Never late!)

I'm taking a class on the teachings of Paul,
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all,

I track my bad habits 'til each is abolished;
Our t-shirts are ironed! My toenails are polished!

Our family home evenings are always delightful;
The lessons I give are both fun and insightful.

I do genealogy faithfully, too.
t's easy to do all the things that I do!

I rise each day early, refreshed and awake;
I know all the names of each youth in my stake!

I read to my children! I help all my neighbors!
I bless the community, too, with my labors.

I exercise and I cook menus gourmet;
My visiting teaching is done the first day!

(I also go do it for someone who missed hers.
It's the least I can do for my cherished ward sisters.)

I chart resolutions and check off each goal;
I seek each 'lost lamb' on my Primary roll.

I can home-grown produce each summer and fall.
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all,

I write in my journal! I sing in the choir!
Each day, I write 'thank you's' to those I admire.

My sons were all Eagles when they were fourteen!
My kids get straight A's! And their bedrooms are clean!

I have a home business to help make some money;
I always look beautifully groomed for my honey.

I go to the temple at least once a week;
I change the car's tires! I fix the sinks leak!

I grind my own wheat and I bake all our bread;
I have all our meals planned out six months ahead.

I make sure I rotate our two-years' supply;
My shopping for Christmas is done by July!

These things are not hard; 'tis good if you do them;
You can if you try! Just set goals and pursue them!

It's easy to do all the things that I do!
If you plan and work smart, you can do them all, too!

It's easy!' she said and then she dropped dead.

Is it really any wonder at all that I feel like I can't do it? Honestly the only thing on there that I do is sing in the choir and that's just because I'm choir director. Now that I've confessed to my failings I want to leave this post on a positive note. I know that it is satan's tool to make us feel inadequate. He encourages us to compare our weaknesses to the strengths of the sisters around us. So I am not going to let him!!! I am not perfect, nor will I ever be, and so my goal is that when I go to bed each day my children will know that I love them and that their Heavenly Father loves them. And hopefully there will be at least one thing I did that day that was better than the day before. Will I be perfect in one day? NO! But I'm not going to get overwhelmed and stop trying. After all, I am a daughter of God and He loves me no matter what. I will show my love for Him by striving line upon line, precept upon precept, to become the daughter He knows me to be.

P.S. Want an example of the joys of parenthood? Today we all took a nap and we had all been awake for a little while when I asked my hubby where our other twin O was. He said he was still in bed. When I went up to check on him he was in his crib playing with.....can you guess? POOP! You read that right! It was soooo disgusting! The trash had been put up on a little shelf next to his crib so they wouldn't play with it when they were playing in there and he pulled it over and pulled the poopy diaper out and then proceeded to play with it and get it EVERYWHERE. Happy Mother's Day, right? Although I must admit, while I cleaned the crib and sheets, my dear hubby gave O a bath and then cleaned the trash out.


  1. That sounds like you had a great mothers day!! Your kids are cute

  2. It's good to know I am not the only one out there who often feels like I stink at my job. Sorry about the poopy crib-- I got a good laugh though!

  3. You are a great mother and have a lot more patience than me. I could learn a lot from you. I think we all have days that we think we are failures, especially after reading Melinda's journal, I mean that poem. j/k

    That poop story stinks...literally. I have way too many of those in a week too. YUCK. Glad Eldon will help you clean it up.


  4. Girl, I completely understand! Your post says EXACTLY how I feel almost every night before I close my eyes and go to sleep! Somehow us moms need to give ourselves a break and realize we are doing our VERY BEST! Easier said than done, huh? :)

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